In a world full of inconsiderate people, sometimes it feels as if the world is just one messed up place, and in some aspects it is. But in some ways it’s perfect. Being selfish has a bad connotation, but everyone needs to practice it once in awhile. You SHOULD be selfish with your time and energy, you don’t want to go out, but you think your friends are counting on you? Just be honest! Say that you’d rather stay in or invite them over for a movie night instead, it’s okay to be selfish with your time. However, it is not okay to lie and tell your friends that your mom needs you to take her to the airport. People understand if you don’t want to go out, they however won’t understand why you lied to them.
Stop feeling bad for doing what you need. Life is short and if you want to spend a Saturday night eating takeout with your dog, do it! If you need a haircut, but you just haven’t “found the time”, you need to make the time! A haircut or color that makes you feel beautiful is important! However, yelling at your hairstylist to hurry up because you are in a rush is something selfish that you should not do! Selfishness and being inconsiderate are two different things and I think our society has confused the two for awhile now. Everyone should have one selfish hour or 30 minutes a week, just for mental health, whether it’s a bath or a walk. I encourage everyone to try being selfish this week.
This year and last year was definitely an unprecedented time in the world, and it still is! With lockdowns and coups it can sometimes seem like the world is going to poop. Now with social media and the news it can increase this sudden dread or loathing even more. My motivation has been fluctuating since Christmas, with all the days starting to blur together, it can seem hopeless. A few things I have learned that help me day after day are finding things that make me happy. Doing things that I actually want to do! Do I want to take a few pictures today? Yes? Then let’s do it! No? Then let’s find something else that sounds fun. If staying in bed all day sounds the best, let’s do that!
I know it sounds simple in theory but it can still be hard to execute. So there’s this thing that me and my husband do every night. What was your favorite part about today? Sometimes our answers are simple, like when I ate those macarons or sometimes they have a little more substance, like when I signed another collaboration with a brand. Everyday it helps us think about and realize what actually made us happy that day.
When I was 21 I thought I had it pretty together, I was going to college, had a boyfriend, had a job and some great friends! But you know that feeling when you feel like you should be happy but your not? That was me all the time. I was like, is that it? Is this everything I’ll ever have in life? Fast forward 6 years and I’m married (!) working from home, and not just because of the pandemic, but because my job is literally remote, I have a wonderful apartment and friends and family who love me. I know I’m so lucky to be able to have found my person, but of course it didn’t come without work! If I could go back and tell my 21 year old self or any 21 year old anything, it’d be to figure out what you want to do and work for it! It might change from being a fashion designer to being a book author, but everyone needs to try things. I do however highly recommend at least going to a trade school or a community college to help get your goals started! I would also tell myself to look around and take in every moment at college or with my friends because so soon people will move away or you yourself will get busy and not be able to hang out or go out like you once did. Calling my friend saying I’m 5 minutes away from their house is a thing of the past. Now I have to make plans in advance, or risk them not being there. When I was 21 I was always trying to figure out what was going to make me happy, but never stopped to look around and notice that I was happy! 6 years later I always try to look around and appreciate the moment, whether surround by friends and family or simply watching a movie with my husband or even getting up to go to work. I know so many people wish they could see their loved ones once more or go to work again but we are extremely lucky! Yes of course I’d love a house and a dog and maybe a new car, but for everything I do have, I’m happy! Not because I have a million new fancy things or because I’m where I want to be in life (because I am not!) but because I have learned that what I have is what someone is aching for. Maybe it’s the pandemic talking but one thing I know for sure is your happiness is based on your outlook and not on what is actually in front of you.